Sweet Little Fantasies

October 24, 2011 at 10:03 am (Sex) (, , , , , )

Perhaps it’s due to the change of the seasons and the onset of cooler weather, when I start feeling more domestic. The nesting instinct kicking in. Trying to settle the chaos in the house down to a dull roar and fewer piles, wearing more layers, deliberating when to turn on the heat. My erotic imagination turns to more tranquil scenes, sweeter intimacies.

A few days ago I woke up with the specific longing to spend the day in kneesocks and a cardigan, alternating between reading and fucking. This is rooted in an experience from over ten years ago, when the boyfriend of the time took me home with him for the weekend to his cozy little house in a small Ohio town. He undressed me upon arrival, and I never bothered to re-dress until it was time to leave. He was working, I was reading, curled up on the sofa or across from him at the table, and periodically he would reach for me. He liked the way the sweater covered my breasts but let the curve of my ass peek out, and he liked having only that simple piece of clothing to remove when he wanted more. I enjoyed keeping him company in this way, free to do what I wished with no responsibilities over my head, just the assumption of willingness to open my legs to him when he wanted. And he wanted often, burrowing into me in a nest of quilts spread on the living room floor, or guiding me to my knees as he leaned back in his chair. There was no question of denying that wanting when it arose, and it was a luscious weekend of comfortable silence and warm, friendly desire.

A hot shower also triggered another fantasy, also based in reality, of being bathed and pampered. I imagine a large, deep tub full of bubbles, and being scrubbed all over with a rough cloth until I am red from heat and friction. I would be rinsed, wrapped in towels and patted dry, then stroked all over again with lotion until soft and sweet. Taken to bed, I would be heated through with desire as this imaginary lover focused first on my breasts, sucking and biting my nipples, licking and caressing them like the objects of his deepest lusts. Fingers would then find my center and the hot, throbbing point, followed by lips and tongue, followed by hard cock and our bodies pressed together, and the enveloping heat of orgasm.

Such sweet, simple fantasies, yet so unlikely to ever be experienced. It interests me that in both, I’m rather objectified – an adored and desired thing, but one that serves a purpose of pleasure above all else. Cared for and caressed, but with no expectations or burdens. This speaks to a deeper, more difficult desire to escape a little from the daily weight of obligations and responsibilities, a longing to be a receiver rather than a caregiver. A need much harder to fill. But perhaps one that really needs to be heard.

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The Sexual To-Do List.

October 5, 2011 at 8:16 pm (Real Life, Sex) (, , , , , , )

I asked folks a question on Twitter about what’s on their sexual to-do list that they fear may never be crossed off. I was curious about those big hopes and dreams and fantasies that might not be achievable, or perceived as achievable. The discussion focused more on the sexual to-do’s themselves, though; achievable or not achievable didn’t really register for some.  Which is okay; it was a fun discussion anyway.

I’ve been thinking the past few days about those things I want to do, and whether any of my current partners would be willing to do them, and why or why not, and whether some of those things are important enough to me to seek out someone who would be willing to fulfill them. It’s a pretty entertaining train of thought, for the most part.

So for the record, and for the sake of my own failing memory, I thought I’d start a blog post for my sexual to-do list. I’ll probably come back and update it periodically, hopefully as things are accomplished, but also as new things occur to me.

I’ll note that the use of the word “sex” could include vaginal penetration or oral sex, giving or receiving, unless otherwise specified.

So, in no particular order, my list includes:

1. MFM threesome with double penetration.

2. Spend one 24-hour period as a slave or a pet. (There are very, very specific requirements around this, but it’s something I’ve entertained in fantasy for about fifteen years.)

3. Give a male partner a handjob in the balcony of Southgate House during a show.

4. Give a male partner a blow job in a parking garage (in or out of a vehicle).

5. Sex in a vehicle going through a car wash.

6. Sex outdoors in snow; in rain; in bright spring sunshine. Preferably all of the above (not at the same time, of course).

7. Participate in filming someone else’s sexual encounter (without being an active participant in the sex itself).

8. Be restrained and blindfolded in a situation where I would not know who was touching me (among a trusted group who understood my boundaries, but still unaware of specifics).

9. Describe a fantasy to a partner and for it to be fulfilled at a later time exactly as described. (I try to share fantasies with partners, but usually they forget about them, aren’t interested in them, or if they try to fulfill them they miss certain important details or make changes so it’s not really what I wanted. Yes, I’m high maintenance.)

10. Be set on fire. (Maybe this isn’t entirely a sex thing, but I have the opportunity to have it done next month and I am super super excited about it.)

11. Watch a male partner have sex with another man.

12. Participate in a porn-watching party/orgy.

13. Be beaten with a riding crop.

14. Have sex with someone I originally had sex with in my 20’s.

15. Meet and have playtime with some of my sexy Twitter friends.

I suppose this list will seem rather tame, to some. But it accurately reflects my current interests and desires. I sit at the milder end of the kink spectrum and I’m okay with that. Which doesn’t mean that, over time, I won’t add some rougher stuff, and there are definitely fantasies that involve rougher stuff, but most either don’t qualify as things I really, really want to do; or they’re things I’ve done already but continue to enjoy in fantasy.

What’s on your list?

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