Scent memory.

March 27, 2011 at 10:04 am (Sex) ()

I remember, many years ago, coming home from work one afternoon and discovering the distinctive scent of my current lover in my bed. I hadn’t seen him for more than a week, so it was very unlikely that his scent had lingered that long and remained that strong. He did have a key to my apartment, so the logical assumption was that he’d been there at some point during the day and had been in my bed. I didn’t care why – it was a turn-on to smell him without his actual physical presence.

Scent has always carried strong memories and emotional associations for me. I keep certain fragrances around specifically to evoke particular sensual memories. Crabtree & Evelyn had a (now discontinued) fragrance called Spring Rain, and my very first lover burned the incense version in her bedroom the night she seduced me. It brings me back to a small attic bedroom with a mattress on the floor, and a lusciously curvy girl removing her clothes while firmly yet kindly informing a very naive me of what was about to happen. I have two remaining incense cones of the same fragrance that I will never burn.

I also have a small bottle of bubble bath in a unique clove & rose scent that I’ve never found anywhere else. It was a hotel product, saved from the room I shared for three days in Portland with the man who collared me. (I’ve never been able to call him my master. More on that some other time.) I uncork that tiny bottle and I’m back in a two-seat jacuzzi bathtub, slipping underwater while he fucked me, again, after swearing he was done with me for that day.

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Alice blogs again.

March 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm (Random) ()

I blogged using my own domain from 2003 to 2006. It was a rambling, unfocused blog, really not much more than a journal I chose to make public. I didn’t build a following or get a lot of reader comments. I didn’t really care. I wrote about anything, but in particular I enjoyed writing about sex. And for me, those were sexually interesting times.

Then some unusual nonsense happened. Mainly, my apartment was broken in to and my laptop was stolen. As a result, I changed all my passwords, but I forgot the most important one – the one that allowed me into the MovableType installation on my server. I tried everything I could to recover it, but it was no use because of the way I’d configured the application. I’d lost everything.

At the same time, the relationship I was in was turning serious and, for the moment at least, monogamous. And I have a tendency of spending less time on introspection, and thus writing about my thoughts, when I’m in a relationship. I gave up blogging entirely. That relationship led to marriage, and ultimately led to where I am today:

I’m a 39 year old corporate drone with a pretty average, domesticated lifestyle, on the surface. I’ve also been in an open relationship since 2007. Admittedly, I haven’t taken advantage of our arrangement as much as my husband has, but I have my reasons. And it has been a very good thing, in a lot of ways.

Lately I’ve been feeling very restless. I’ve also been playing with Twitter and enjoyed the challenge of titillating in 140 characters or less, exercising my erotic imagination on a small but appreciative audience. But there are stories I’d like to tell that could never fit Twitter’s structure, so I’ve decided to start blogging again. There won’t be a lot of posts. And one thing I’ve decided is that I won’t make a distinction between stories and adventures that have happened recently vs. those I’m recounting from the past. That isn’t the point, really – I just want to tell some sexy stories, and have a place for some rambling thoughts on swinging, polyamory, and the direction my life is taking.

Alice is a character I play. She’s not really who I am, but she’s who I’d like to be if I could risk being completely open about my life. She’s someone I want to be someday.

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